Worn

As I sit here tonight I am mentally and emotionally tired.  My heart is heavy for people I love and my eyes can barely stay open... sad reality- it is only 6pm. This past week has been a blur for me and this week has drug on and on and on.  Words cannot even express how grateful I am for it to be Friday tomorrow.  I know my body is tired and needs a break... I slept through all 5 of my alarms this morning - that never happens and I am never late.  I wanted to feel sorry for being late but I know my body needed sleep and quite honestly I am just ready for the school year to be over.  It has been a year- a year of growth and overcoming obstacles and meeting lots of great people, but it has definitely been a year in and of itself.

I am just worn. worn out and tired of the everyday stuff.  I need a break. Summer will be good for me... a nice time of recharge.  Scary reality is, I am not sure what the next chapter holds or what job waits for me on the other side. I know my time with the school district for now is done, but the scary this is... what is next?!  I know God will provide, but honestly I think way down deep and hidden in the back of my mind I am worrying.  Worrying how God will provide, worrying about what is next, worrying that I won't be good at my new job- whatever it may be. To be quite honest, I think all this worrying I am doing is making me even more worn out at the end of the day.  Even though I think I am not thinking about it and worrying about it, I know that I am... and it is just purely exhausting. Does that make sense?!

Tonight I am willing myself to relax, and allow my mind to truly take a break. I really need to let myself relax or I may not make it to the end of the year... I have never been this tired and I have 4 more weeks left.  I can do this.

Lord, give me the strength because my body is tired and I am worn.  I need your Spirit to fill me so that I can find joy even in the days that seem so tedious.  Help me to remember that you are always in control and have so many wonderful things planned for me that there is no reason I should allow worry to consume me.  Fill me with your love and help me to walk in your loving grace daily.  Amen.

So, if you find yourself worn tonight like I am - just give it to God and know I am praying for you all because being in this place is exhausting and sometimes discourage but just know that God will take care of all things in His perfect timing.