I am going through a season in life where being a grown-up is hard stuff. Never before did I think life after college would be so difficult and that the real world is not all sunflowers and smiles. I am learning that working in the real world is also difficult and that not everyone is going to love you or your personality... which is hard for me since I hate conflict so much. There have been days in the real world that I have cried because I honestly do not know how I am going to make it through to the next day -- sometimes the tears are good to cry out but other times I am so frustrated that all I know to do is cry. Loving on little kids is my passion and learning is what my heart desires right now, but sometimes my life passions and pursuits is not where others around me may be and that makes me sad. I cannot control anyone but myself -- which is hard for wanting to be the peacemaker on most days. So today, I am tired, sad and just reaching out to God on my tiptoes hoping that I will feel His presence even more when I am out in the real world. My prayer for the past couple of weeks has been, "God show me what you need the desires of my heart to be and where you need me to be." I have not gotten a clear answer, but I do know that my passion for loving on kids cannot be smothered. I need to hold my head high and remember that my worth is not found through anyone but my MAKER.... He is the one that will give me the strength to make it through each day. Some seasons in life are filled with wilderness moments -- where God needs me to take a journey and humble myself so that I can trust in His divine plan even more. I am definitely on a wilderness journey and my heart hurts, but I know that God will be with me every step of the way and we will make it through together.
"Lord, help me to feel your presence each day I walk through this wilderness."
Fun days in May!
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