experiencing new things in marriage

we are finally home with our families and it is such a beautiful thing!  we have missed them so much and we are so grateful to be here... we were both very anxious on our car ride home last night.  though, driving home I was getting a little nervous-- let me explain.  so all the years Reagan and I dated we never spent the night at each others houses since we lived less than 5 minutes away from each other.  So driving home I knew that I would be staying at Reagan's house since his parents are hosting Thanksgiving and then we will stay at my parents house because they are hosting Christmas. I do not have any idea why I got nervous the closer we got to Reagan's house last night but I did.  It is just weird to me that now that we are married we get to stay with each other at the same house.  Last night we all kinda joked about it but I still thought I was the only one who thought it was kinda weird, because it was the first time.  Well this morning when we woke up and came downstairs his dad was already up.  He looked at us and smiled and told us he has experienced 2 weird things since we have been married.  When he came to visit us at our townhouse and when we waved goodbye to him at the door he thought to himself wow all these years and they are finally married!  This morning he told us when y'all came downstairs this morning I had to do a double take and then remind myself that y'all were married and it was ok y'all came down together!  Haha I had to laugh inside because at least I was not the only one who thought it was crazy that we were finally married and getting to do married things!

Just thought I would leave y'all with this because I thought it was funny and so our family!  Love being home for the first time as a married couple... always about experiencing new things... so wonderful!

Have a wonderful and restful thanksgiving with your families!

"Grateful for the moments that stop and make me laugh."

thank goodness for a break

Thanksgiving break is finally here and I could not be more excited!  I cannot wait to go home and see our families!  It is going to be wonderful to have Thanksgiving with them and be able to sit around and just visit, I miss being able to do that!  I cannot wait to spend time with my parents and do girl stuff with my mom... I have definitely missed that!
Our families are anxiously awaiting for us to come home and I think that is pretty darn cute!  I cannot wait to see everyone and spend time with them and love on them.  It is going to be so so wonderful!
We are so blessed to have people who love us so much and are looking forward to our visit so much!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, and enjoys the time that they have to spend with their families!  Be thankful and cherish the sweet time with your friends and families!

"be thankful for the blessings God has given you in life."

stuck in the middle of confusion and learning life...

there are just some things in life lately that I have to take a step back and try to re-evaluate the situation because at first glance I am like... what the heck?!  there are ways people handle themselves that make me wonder, or even the things people say.. I just sometimes want to say WOAH FILTER!  there are just those days when I seem like I have control over nothing and do not understand what God is trying to teach me.  those days are frustrating because I cannot seem to see the whole plan or understand why people are placed in my life at certain times and do and say things I do not get.  I have been in this place for a little while, a place where I really do not understand what is going on around me and I am really looking forward to God allowing me to move forward to a new season in life.  Though, the sad thing is God is teaching me so much in this season of life and one of the big things is patience...

 I am having to learn that it is not on my time by God's time.  I am learning how to truthfully treat and speak to others the way I would like to be treated.  I am learning to love on people like I have no more love to give.  I am learning what it means to really be a Godly wife and how I can best serve my husband and meet his needs.  I am learning that life needs balance and to not sweat the small things that I have no control over.  I am learning that people come and go in life, and that I must be grateful for every new friendship I encounter because they are placed in my life for a reason. I have learned that I am in love with our couples Bible Study Group and I am so thankful for the amazing and Godly couples God has placed in our lives... I look forward to Sunday nights like no body's business-- it is my fuel to get me through the week!  I am learning who I can trust in life and who I cannot trust.  I am learning how to be a better friend and showing them love like God does. I am learning that life is not perfect and there are awful people in this world.  I am learning that loving on kids fills my heart with so much joy that at times it brings me to tears.  I am learning that one day I do believe Reagan and I will make incredible parents... and I cannot wait till God blesses us with a child.  I am learning that balancing school and life is difficult and am looking forward to it all being over in May 2011.  I am learning that ministry is not easy and that supporting my husband is the most important thing ever.  I am learning how to really open up to people and let them see my heart.  I am learning that even though my husband is in seminary that he does not know everything about the Bible and just wants to hear my thoughts after we read scripture together and help me better understand the Bible.  I am learning how to be more humble and how not to force my OCD/ organized self onto others.  I am learning how to fulfill my passion in life by working with kids and families.  Though, above all else I have learned that through all my confusion and everything I have learned God has loved me every step of the way and that is an incredible thing.  My God knew my life before I was even born.  He took on all my sin so that I could accept His love.  He loves me even when I do not look to Him for guidance first.  My God is a sovereign God and for that I am so thankful because today the most important thing I learned yet again (God seems to be teaching me this one thing over and over because He must feel I am not getting it!) is that no matter what happens or what the world throws my way... God's grace is enough for me.  Knowing that one incredible thing makes me smile and hold my head a little higher because it is not just me against the world, it is God and me walking hand in hand as He guides me through the crazy world. Thank you Lord for your provision over my life, without you I am nothing.

"God teach me the things you need me to learn in this season of life so that I may grow even more in my walk with you."

a door closing

Well this week has definitely been very busy and exhausting.  I have been seeking wisdom and searching for answers and I think a door is on its way to closing. I found out this week that all the work I put into nursing school early on in my college career would not benefit me at all if I were to try another university... I would have to start all over.  I am so sorry, but that does not sound like a wonderful option.  I would have to be in school for possibly another 2-4 years and my mind cannot take that... I need a mental break.  Also, talking with my parents the cost would be expensive and not something Reagan and I had budgeted for.  My parents said they would help, but when I searched deep within I could not find a reason I wanted to go back to nursing school other than people telling me it was an idea to consider.  Like I said before I need to stop worrying about other people want me to do and do what I feel God is telling me to do.  So with nothing really working out for the nursing thing, I do believe God is shutting the door.  It feels good, and I feel good about it... I feel like I can finally breathe, move forward and stop asking what if.

With that door shutting, God has still placed on my heart the possible job at Gladney Adoption Agency and teaching elementary school... two things that definitely make my heart smile.  I would absolutely love either option and I am ready to see what direction God will lead me in.  I am also looking into subbing for the elementary schools in our district next semester and I am so excited about that opportunity! I will continue praying for God's direction and for a feeling of peace.

Also, I sign up for my last semester of classes tonight... WOAH!  Things are coming to an end and life is about to change and for once I am not fearful of this change, I am ready to embrace whatever God is going to bring my way.

I cannot wait for next Wednesday to be here... we will be leaving to go and see family for Thanksgiving and we are so excited!  It has been since the wedding that we have seen all our family all together.  It will be a wonderful time to spend with are family and reflect on all the things we have to be grateful for. 

"God's perfect timing for our life is all we can ever ask for."

decisions

I absolutely hate making decisions.  It is definitely a weakness of mine and I am fully aware of that.  I do not like change and I like to please everyone and with making decisions that does not always happen.
I am graduating in the spring and I need to figure out what I want to do with my life after school.  I just do not know!  All I know is that I want to make an impact with kids and families.  Whether that is working for an organization for children and families, teaching, or heck nursing (which yes that has crossed my mind to go back and finish--- though I am finding the likelihood of my hours transferring does not look very good).  I just do not know what would be best for me.  All I know is that staying up late is not a trait of mine-- so I am wondering if I really could attempt the whole nursing thing because night shifts are part of the job :( and quite honestly I am afraid to go back to the school of the nursing world and experience the same crazy emotions I did before that morphed me into someone who was so sad all the time and could not take the pressure of the job... I wish people would not have placed the idea in my mind of going back and finishing once I graduate! UGH... some people may be disappointed in the end when I make my decision... oh well, it is not about them... it is about me and what I believe God is telling me is best for my life!

All I can say is that I am definitely going to be in a lot of prayer... I mean like a whole lot.  I need direction and for once I need to feel confident about my decision, move forward, do not look back or question what if.  Because whether I want to face the facts that God is in control NOT ME and He already knows what is going to happen and where I will be.  So right now I need to stop acting like I have control of my life because I do not-- God does and deep down the peace that brings me knowing He has this divine and special plan for me makes my heart smile because in the end I know that means God will make it clear to me what is best.  So I need to take a deep breath and approach this situation through prayer and seeking guidance.

So, every time I even cross your mind-- pray for me.  Pray that I understand the direction God has for my life and I am obedient to where He is taking my life.  Scary... but I would rather God choose the path for me then have to make the decision myself!

"God help me to understand Your ways for my life, and through all things be grateful for the guidance you will provide me with."

Things I Am Thankful For

Every Sunday night Reagan and I attend a couples community group (aka a Bible Study).  Lets just say we are both in love with our group!  We have the most fabulous people in there who are at all different walks of life.  We have both learned so much from the couples in our group, and it is just so awesome to share experiences with each other.  Our group can laugh and cry together which is one of the things I love the most.  After group was over last night we all hung around and were talking about the most random things.  I have never laughed so hard in my life-- they literally had me rolling.  The best thing about our community group is that we are very open people and I love that about us!  Such an incredible group and God is definitely forming new friendships and bringing us closer as a group.

My hubby is incredible.  He is always there for me--- encouraging me all the time.  Especially when it comes to school and wanting to be done!  He is such an amazing man of God and I am blessed to have him in my life.  I love that he enjoys watching chick-flicks with me on the couch, loves to snuggle, and looks forward to talking at the end of the day.  Even though our marriage is not perfect, it is so comforting to know that we have each other through the journey.  Man I love my hubby so much!

My family--- even though we are far apart and I miss them everyday they are always calling in to check on us and see if we need anything.  They are such a huge support for us and we are so grateful for every prayer they have lifted up for us, to every phone call we have made to figure out how you live life as a married couple!  They are incredible people of God and we are so blessed to be able to call them family.

True friends--- I am learning these are very hard to come by, but the ones I have in my life I cherish with everything I have.  Thank you for being the constant support and encouragement I have needed along this new journey.  Thank you for listening when I needed someone to talk to, and more than anything thank you for being you.  There is a reason God places true friends in your life and I am learning that more and more now being married; always hold them close to your heart.

Oh and horned frog football!  I know you all probably think I am crazy but they are having a terrific season and I am so excited.  We deserve to go to a bowl game this year and play our hearts out and WIN--- that would make for the best senior year ever!!! All I can say is that I am a very proud horned frog!  RIFF RAM BAH ZOO-- GIVE EM HELL TCU!!!!

"God thank you for the blessings you have placed in my life, I am so grateful for Your Love."

it's a PJ's kinda day

it has been one of those days where i have had the motivation to do nothing, and i have stayed in my pj's all day long.  yet, somehow i still managed to get the mounds of laundry done and the dishwasher started --- which seemed to exhaust me even more.  i have had homework and studying to do but i just have not felt like it.  my belly has not felt good the past couple of days (which is normal for me) and i think today since it's not feeling good i just feel like blah.

i wish Reagan was home to cuddle with me and watch movies, but he isn't--- and won't be anytime soon because he has to work late tonight :(

the weather has finally gotten cool here and it feels wonderful.  it is definitely beginning to feel like the holidays. Reagan and i went ahead and bought our first tree together the other night.  it is fake tree since i am allergic to real ones, but we are pretty excited to put it up and decorate it with ornaments together!

i finally figured out my class schedule for my last semester of college --- WOW cannot believe it... so darn excited!

i have no idea what i will do for dinner tonight since it is just me... i really do not have an appetite at all.  maybe soup, that kinda sounds good.  i just need to get my energy back and i wish my belly would feel better!

ready for my hubby to be home so i can snuggle with him... can it please be 9:30 already??

"you are God alone--- through the good times and bad..."

hello again

So I apologize for not blogging in forever... a lot has been going on.

School has been super busy, and I am getting ready to enroll for my last Semester of college classes--- holy moly graduation is approaching!
I am looking forward to walking the stage, what an accomplishment that will be!
I have started browsing jobs and there are some great possibilities in store.  I am continuing to let God guide me in this area-- by showing what doors need to stay open and what others need to close.  It gives me great peace that God knows what is going to be the perfect thing for me even when I do not.

Reagan has been super busy with Carmax and growing the youth group at TCAL.  It still feels like the days go by way too fast and we do not get to spend as much time with each other as we would like.  With that being said, we are both ready for a little break so that we can devote some much needed time to each other.

We are looking forward to going to San Antonio for Thanksgiving with our parents.  This will be the first time that we are going home as a MARRIED couple--- so crazy!
For Christmas we have been given the incredible opportunity to go and visit Reagan's mom, step dad, and sisters in Nebraska.  We will be there for a week and will fly back to San Antonio Christmas Eve morning so that we can spend Christmas with my parents and Reagan's dad and step mom and brothers.  I am very excited to go to Nebraska with my hubby, it will be my first white Christmas.  I
hope I can stand the freezing cold weather!

On a happy and sad note... this past Friday Reagan and I got the cutest little puppy ever.  I had been wanting one for some time and Reagan and I both love dogs, so he finally gave in.  Though, within a couple of days deep down we knew we did not have enough time to train Little Miss Sadye and give her the time she needed as a puppy.  Also, the downside to the issue was that at our townhouse there is no backyard so she was pinned up inside all day and we hated that for her!  So we placed an Ad on Craigslist last night, and a sweet family responded back.  A family that has a backyard, time to be with Sadye during the day, and a sweet 2 year old little girl that wanted a puppy more than ever.  So knowing we had to do what was best for Sadye, we drove her to this sweet Christian family tonight.  All the way there we cried because we hated to see Sadye go- but we knew this was best for her and us.  Dropping her off to the family was one of the hardest things I think we have ever had to do, but in our hearts we both felt good about it because the family instantly started loving on her and we knew it would be a great place for Sadye.  Little Sadye will definitely be missed by us, but Reagan and I came to an agreement that right now in our lives we are too busy for a dog and need more time and a backyard---so as soon as we get a house (whenever that may be) we will begin to consider getting a dog again and really evaluate our living situation and lives.  We love you Sadye girl and you are definitely missed but our sweet family picture with you will always stay in its frame (picture to come soon--- seriously she was so stinkin adorable!)

Well I think that is about all that life has thrown at us lately.  I am exhausted and emotionally drained... time for sleep!

"God give me the strength to walk with you and allow You to lead my life every step of the way."