One of those Days

Today is just one of those days where my mind is all over the place, my heart is heavy, and I am a little down and out.  I know exactly why I feel this way but it is so hard to put into words.  I do not understand how friends trust can be broken after all you have been through, how people can not forgive you and move on, and that confrontation is something that continually has to happen in life when I HATE it so much.
I know that when I am at fault for something it makes my heart hurt and is so heavy.  So I apologize and apologize and keep apologizing.  Though, at times I feel I am not the only one who needs to apologize ALL the time.
I honestly do not like arguing-- it makes me nervous, and fighting with people makes my stomach all in knots.
Though, when I read my devotion this morning it was talking about how that every circumstance that happens in your life, allow yourself to put your feelings aside and see what God is trying to teach you.  Right now from all the people problems I am enduring I have no idea what God is trying to teach me.  Is He trying to teach me the characteristics of a Godly friend, or how in my own life I should be quick to forgive and allow my heart to move on?  I honestly do not know, though I do know that I am not the only one that endures hardships with friends- but I think in my life when they do occur, I worry and take on all the burden which I probably should not do but I just cannot stand it when my friends are upset with me or upset in general-- it just puts me in a very nerve racking place.  To top it all off I know I should not worry and that God has everything under control but that is definitely easier said than done at times for me.  Though, this summer I have been working on giving everything to God so that I do not have to be burdened by my worries.  Though, it is times like these when I wonder what I could have said or done differently so that there is not conflict between me and my friends.
Also, it is hard hearing that time heals all wounds--- because I want the situation to be better NOW.  So I can see God is trying to teach me patience too. If I could make it all better and not have to go through all these trials, I would close my eyes and go back to the way things used to be.  But, maybe this is God showing me that things weren't the way He wanted them before and thus change needed to occur for healthier relationships to blossom.  I really do not know, I am just ready to learn and embrace the lessons God is trying to teach me right now and move on --- because when I can feel at peace with my friends life is so much better.

On a happier note, today is my WONDERFUL and AMAZING Dad's BIRTHDAY!!! I love him so so much and I am sending him ALL my love on his birthday!

"Each day we endure new journey's, some that we understand and others that we don't. Though, the things we learn along our journey's is what allows us to be molded into the person He needs us to be."