"Perfection" is Unattainable

So our first out of town guest came for dinner tonight. Reagan's dad, Bob, was in Dallas for business and Reagan offered for him to come over for dinner. I found out Sunday night he would be coming for dinner and as the days went by I got more nervous about his visit. I was worried about the meal I was going to cook, how the house looked, and that everything went smoothly. I don't know why I was so nervous for his visit; his dad and I have always had a good relationship with each other so there should have been nothing for me to worry about! I started cleaning our townhouse on Tuesday, yes I know that probably sounds ridiculous but I wanted the house to look "perfect." I intensely cleaned baseboards and all! Then, I decided to do another cleaning of the townhouse this morning, I know call me crazy but I felt it just didn't look clean enough! I was so nervous about cooking dinner too, and I cook for Reagan and I almost every night! Since I was so nervous about cooking Reagan helped me get the lasagna together very late last night--- this turned out to be a really fun experience, we laughed together as we put the lasagna together late last night. We just kept laughing because we could not get over the fact that we were making lasagna at 11:30 at night!




Once the house was cleaned to my standards today, I tried relaxing but a part of me just couldn't wait to get the night started. Once Reagan's dad got here my nervousness subsided somewhat. It was so good to have him here in Dallas seeing our home for the first time. Our dinner menu for the night was: Caesar salad, lasagna, fresh green beans, pesto garlic French bread, and peanut butter puddles for dessert --- delicious (got the recipe off Pillsbury!). It was so nice to get to visit with his dad and just hear how life has been since we got married, and to relive wedding night memories!


After his dad left, we were sad to see him go! A part of me was very jealous that he would be going back to San Antonio tomorrow where he would see all our family--- my parents included--- I miss them so so much!


Though after he left, I realized why I was so nervous for his visit. I was being protective of the place Reagan and I have created for each other that we call HOME. I know that sounds so weird, but I didn't want him to think badly of where we live or how we have chosen to live our lives as a married couple --- and we don't live in a bad place or do crazy things with our marriage-- I am just protective of US! I am protective of my husband, our home, and the life we have made with each other. Looking back on the evening, nothing had to be "perfect" because seriously what is "PERFECT" anyways?! All his dad wanted was to spend the evening with us and relish in the fact that we were married and happy!


With this in mind, I am a little more at ease having people over. I can't worry about what other people think of my home, if the food doesn't taste good, or if the conversation was pleasant --- all I can worry about is that the time spent with the people who come to our home was meaningful. It was so good to see his dad and hug his neck and hear him say "I have missed y'all so much, and love y'all so much." I need to stop worrying so much about what other people think, and be happy and content with what God has given me and the Love my husband has for me.


All in all tonight was incredible, and it was so good to be with family! Slowly but surely I am learning that life is not perfect and that people are coming to see us --- not how perfect our house is or how amazing the dinner tastes! I pray God continues to break me of my worry and my needing to seek approval from those that matter the most to me. Lord help me to remember that I find my satisfaction in You, and all I need is your love and approval of my life.






"Striving for perfection is what squelches ones happiness in life."